House arrest

So, yeah, this morning I busted out the 'ole Magic Bullet and pureed up a banana all smooth like, mixed it with some yummy rice cereal and fed it to B to the E to the N, who promptly shook his entire body as if I had just fed him straight up lemons. I thought, okay, maybe he just needs an adjustment to his taste buds - new food and all - and gave him another bite. Same reaction. I then fed a heaping bite to Emzilla to see what she would do, "Ooh, Mommy, dewishiss! One more time." Oh well, at least my hard work in the kitchen didn't go to waste. : )

Today we were supposed to meet up with a Mommy group from the area and visit the Noah's Ark exhibit at the Skirball Center. I was excited about meeting some new Mommies and for Emma to get the chance to make new friends. All week I had been talking it up - new friends! - and Emma was yammering on and on about the new friends! the whole car ride there. We got to the museum and entered the exhibit - which, by the way, is freaking amazing, kids from 1 - 10 will enjoy it! - and met up with the Mom from the park who invited us. She has a daughter 2 months younger than Emma named Leah. We ended up having to change new friends to new friend as she is the only one who showed up! Oh, well, she is a very cool mom and Leah and Emma hit it off no problem. I look forward to meeting the other Moms someday and introducing Leah to Emma's current circle of buddies - one can never have enough 'friends!'

Speaking of current circle - we are off to the zoo tomorrow with Evie, Porter, Cameron, and Emma. LA ZOO - don't say I didn't warn you! I'm sure it will be a blast! I promise pictures...

Emma is a songwriter! Lullibies are her forte, especially ones sung to her wittle brodder.
"A B C D, Bento's sleeping, H I J K, Bento's sleeping...." was the first one she came up with sung all whispery and sweet. Her newest is, "Twinkle twinkle Bento's sleeping, how I wonder Bento's sleeping, up above the Bento's sleeping, like a diamond Bento's sleeping, twinkle twinkle, Bento's sleeping, how I wonder Bento's sleeping." AND, she doesn't miss a note. TOO FUNNY!

Lastly, I need to get a spare key made for the house and stash it somewhere in case of emergency. An emergency like TODAY. Ben wanted a change of scenery so I scooped him up and went outside to drag in our trash cans from the curb. As I was pulling in the 3rd and final can I heard, "CLICK!" - the security screen door locking. "Emma, unlock the door sweety pie." She jiggles it but can't seem to turn it all the way. "Ut-oh Mama, stuck!" Ai yai yai, at least I had Ben with me and she couldn't step on him or squash him as she is known to do... "Okay, bugs, just twist the knobby back and forth." She understands what I am saying and tries but can't quite get it all the way as it is kind of like a dead bolt. "Stuck, mama, stuck. Oh man!" "You can do it, Emma, " as my heart starts to beat a bit faster, can she really? It is a pretty cranky crank lock even for an adult! "Twist it again." It is then I realize the back door is unlocked and she's not stuck for real and exhaled not realizing I was holding my breath. CLICK! She did it! She unlocked it! "Good job, bugaboo!" Now if you touch it again, I am gonna cut off a fingertip - just like they did on the Sopranos... Okay, so I never watched that show - I heard they did stuff like that. They were parents, weren't they?

Professor Michael Faraday, if I ever get my hands on you...

We got a new puppy today and the first thing it did after it's bath was pee all over my living room floors. Oh, wait, no that wasn't a puppy, that was Emma. She was all clean and dry and as I was hanging up her towel the silly goose waltzed into the living room and let loose on the floor - once again, I am happy for hardwood.

Once in a while Ben gets this look on his face that I have never quite been able to place. It reminded me of someone... It's kind of a "Duhhh" look, with his bottom lip hanging out all neanderthal like. As he did it today, Daddy said, "Ben, why you gotta go all Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters on me?" I was like, "THAT'S IT! THAT IS THE CHARACTER I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR!"

At Trader Joe's today, Emma went her usual balloon crazy. This time she enlisted the help of the old man in line behind us. It went something like this:

"Balloon, Mama!"
"Ask the lady, please."
"BALLOON, PLEEEEEEASE!"
The checkout gal asks her what color and I'm like it doesn't matter just give her the darn balloon so she will zip it! She hands her a green one.
"MOMMY! ONE MORE BALLOON!!!"
"No, Emma, one is enough."
"MOMMY, ONE MORE TIME!!"
The checkout gal said, "She can have one more." I give her the stink eye as she hands Emzilla a purple balloon as I am trying to teach my kid she can't always get what she wants by screaming.
"MOMMY, ONE MORE BALLOON!"
"No, Emma, you already have 2 balloons. You don't need another."
I grab our groceries and run with Emma screaming at the top of her lungs, "BAAALLLOOOOOOON!"

As I am loading the groceries into the car, the old man behind us in line comes up and hands Emma an orange balloon. She immediately stops howling all smug with her collection. The man walked halfway across the parking lot to give her the balloon. She is already manipulating people to get her way!

She held on to those silly balloons all afternoon. BECAUSE I MADE HER. Everytime she tried to let go of them in the house to play with something else, I reminded her to "hold on tight!" She grabbed them close and wouldn't let go. ...that's good parenting, right?

Porky's in my kitchen

Actual conversation from 5 minutes ago:

"Mommy, pretzel!"
Nope, you didn't eat all of your dinner, bugs.
"Mommy, please?"
How about a bite of your leftover fish? (I get the tupperware out of the fridge and offer her a bite of cod. She turns her head away...)
How about a broccoli bite? (She snubs it, too.)
You really want a pretzel?
"Good idea, Mommy!"

This afternoon in an effort to get Emma trained in using a proper cup verses a sippy cup, I put a hearty splash of water in a dixie cup and handed it to her. She drank it down in two big gulps, crushed the cup in her hand and tossed it across the kitchen, yelling, "One time more, Mama!" I was stunned for a moment wondering how a drunken frat boy had taken over the body of my precious toddler.

Soon after, I put Ben in his jumping chair and headed into the kitchen to prep dinner. All of the sudden I heard a large cry out followed by huge giggles. I went into the living room to peek at Ben who was happily bouncing in his chair. Upon closer investigation, I realized he was jumping funny - kinda slipping around with his feet on the hardwood floors. Yep, you guessed it, kiddo had crapped a giant poo that went down his legs and he was skating around in it. HE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HAPPIER.

My girlfriend, Liena gave me this shirt as a reminder of my rockstar background. Doesn't Ben look handsome? (Click on the pic to blow it up.)



Finally, Emma was happy as a clam after the supermarket because I splurged and bought a donut which I shared with her on the ride home:

My own personal exorcist

We had quite a busy weekend and I haven't been feeling well so I apologize for not writing and keeping you all on the edge of your seats for four days wondering what is happening here in our little cottage.

Well, yesterday during church while we were singing a hymn, Emma decided she was going to try giving the song a try. But instead of singing along with us she was belting at the top of her lungs, "Oh, my worman, Oh my worman!" over and over (The Backyardigans version of "Oh my darling, Clemantine.") Daddy and I once again were trying so hard not to laugh that we had tears streaming down our face. All the other parents of young children were also cracking up, but we are not quite so sure how the rest of the congregation felt!

Afterwards, we went to a BBQ at our old friend's house. They have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and she spent the day playing big sister to Emma and Ben. It was so funny! They had a giant kiddie pool in their backyard that Emma got a lot of joy out of and Ben, not wanting to miss a thing didn't take a nap the entire afternoon. By the end of the evening we were all pretty tired and in bed by 8:30. I would have enjoyed the early sleep more if I didn't wake up two hours later puking my guts out. I don't think it was anything I ate at the bbq, but a sandwich I had in Anaheim from a Vietnamese market on Saturday. It was soooooo delicious, but after I ate it my belly wasn't feeling too good. I think it just sat there not wanting to be digested until last night when it needed to get some fresh air. Ugh!

I am wiped out today... but need to get to the supermarket. FUN!

Mr. Moon

After dinner tonight, Emma went on a quest. Nope, she wasn't searching for dinosaurs - tonight she was trying to find Mr. Moon. Problem is, it's a new moon - i.e. Mr. Moon is nowhere to be found. This devastated our little girl. "Oh, no! Mama, can't find it! Mr. Moon, where aw you?" We put Ben in the bjorn and went down the street thinking maybe we would find him behind the trees. "Mama, cross the street! Mr. Moon over dere!" We carefully crossed the street but to no avail. "Mama, Mr. Moon behind the trees! Lets go, Mama, go trees!" Nope, no, Mr. Moon.

Then an older couple passed us. Emma pleaded for their help. It went something like this. "Help find it! Mr. Moon down! Mr. Moon no find him. All gone. Oh, no!" The couple were very sweet (actually, they looked at me for a translation - funny, my girlfriend and I were saying earlier how we act as translators for our toddlers - what do translators at the U.N. get paid? We should totally make that kind of $$) and tried very hard to help find Mr. Moon up in the sky- then the guy got all technical and tried to explain the whole "new moon" thing. I was waiting for him to bust out the moon's effect on the tides and how the Earth spins on an axis - seriously, the guy surely never had kids!

This all stemmed from tonight's episode of Ni Hao, Kai Lan... Ha!

After our Moon festival adventure, I tried to get Em in the bathtub but - you guessed it - baths are "dangerous". It took me and Daddy by cell phone 10 minutes to remind her baths are fun and she loves baths. She finally got it, had a blast, and crawled out on her own when she was done. Apparently she grew an inch or five overnight because she has never been able to do that before!

For those of you who feared you wasted your hard earned money on electronic toys for Emma that she barely played with, don't you worry! Ben has discovered them and can't get enough of the buttons and the music and the knobbies. He especially digs the toy computer. THIS KID IS SUCH A CARBON COPY OF HIS DADDY!

Did I mention that at his 6 month well visit to the pediatrician yesterday that he is almost 19 lbs and 27 inches? He will be as big as Emma by his first birthday and people will think they are twins!

Word of the month

As I mentioned earlier, "dangerous" is Emma's new favorite word. She uses it in context most of the time, and sometimes not so much...

Today we went to Toys r Us to cash in the last of her birthday gift cards. It was kind of late 5:45pm and still very hot, 98˚. Emma was a bit cranky - that seems to be when the word of the week comes out. Actual conversation:

"Come on, bugs, we gotta get in the cart."
"Nooooooo! Emma no like it!"
"Emma-doo. We have to get in the cart so we can go into the toystore." (Huge struggle ensues, I enlist Gramma Lou and her superpowers to hold the dasterdly wiggling toddler in place so I can latch the safety harness around her.)
"Okay, let's go in the toystore!"
"No, toystore dangerous!"
"You're damn right it's dangerous, dangerous for Mommy's wallet. Now shush and let's go inside."

We got her a Tinkerbell toddler card table and folding chairs. We had been looking for something miniature like that that folds up so I can store it at my will and this was perfect. She used it for dinner tonight out on the deck. I was worried that she would be on the move as she isn't strapped into a chair, but I think she enjoyed using the table as she stayed there and ate her whole dinner - turkey burger hidden in marinara sauce and a spinach salad. Yes, she ate raw spinach!! I showed her how to dip it in the magical ranch dipping sauce and she totally dug it. Phew!



Ben got his paws on some of Emzilla's toys while she was napping. As you can see from the short cell phone video, he is following in my rock star footsteps:

Beach fun!

Yes, we made it safely to the beach and back today. Gramma Lou and I get an A++ for effort. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the makers of the Radio Flyer "Pathfinder" wagon. No, the children did not ride in the wagon at the beach, but all their crap did! And, it handles itself like a dream through the sand. All this and more for the low low price of 80 bucks on Amazon.

The beach, you ask, with 2 kids under 2? What are you thinking??

Well, simply put, I am thinking that it is 105˚F in Encino and we needed an out. It was fun to watch the temp drop as we neared the ocean - landing at a lovely 78˚ as we parked the car, my kind of weather!

We found a nice spot and spread out the blanket for Ben to roll around on. Emma was in heaven with all the sand. She immediately started playing in it - and by playing I mean diving into it belly first then throwing it in the air and onto Ben, so we had to redirect her attention elsewhere so Ben wouldn't need a trip to the ER on his first visit to the beach.

We lubed up with spf 50 and headed down to the water. I was carrying Ben and Gramma Lou and Emma were walking close behind. The water - as expected - was freezing! Emma avoided it at first out of fear then very quickly out of temperature. The first time the surf came in and reached her feet she screeched and ran toward the shore, stumbling into the 60˚ waters. She quickly decided that the sand was more fun than the agua.

We were there for about 2 hours total, not bad considering Ben is one day short of 6 months and Emma is, well, Emzilla. She loved playing on the beach and the whole way home kept saying, "Beach fun, Mama. We fun beach."

What a difference a year makes: Emma @ 1 year and 2 years

News Flash! Alert the media!

Actual conversation:

Hey, Em, have a bite of asparagus.
"No!" (She loves asparagus, by the way.)
Come on, just one bite.
"No!"
Here, take a taste. (I shove some in her mouth.)
"No! Emma's mouth! Dangerous!"

Let that be a lesson to you, dear readers. Asparagus is now dangerous!

Is it snowing yet?

It's been 100˚ every day here since we returned from our trip east. I remember thinking in FL how happy I was that CA wasn't as hot and humid as FL. Well, when the temps go higher than 100˚, I have been so brutally reminded that it doesn't matter if it is humid or dry - you still can't enjoy being outside for more than 30 seconds.

We've been cooped up in the house for the past few days and I decided we will head to the beach tomorrow for a bit of a reprieve from the oppressiveness that is the "Valley" in summer. Gramma Lou is still in town to brave the Pacific with me and 2 kids - I just wish I had some kind of beach umbrella to keep the sun at bay.

Ben update: He is almost sitting up on his own. I figure in a week or so he will be good to go. He is a very active kid and a very HUNGRY kid. If we are putting any kind of food into our bodies (meal or snack), you best be sure that we better have something close for Ben to chomp on or he goes ballistic!

Emma has turned into a giant parrot. Everything you say she repeats - and remembers. As we were leaving Costco today I said, "Holy crap!" (can't remember what I was referring to - probably the heat) and Emma yells, "Holy crap!"

Daddy called her a parrot but she thought he called her a pirate, so she was saying "Emma pirate. Aaarrgh!"

Laughter is truly the best medicine.

In general, Emma can do no wrong in the eyes of Ben. He adores her. He worships her. His eyes follow her everywhere she goes. He wants to be near her. He longs for the moments when she takes time from her busy toddler schedule to play with him.

Last night was one of those golden times. Ben was sitting on my lap and Emma was finishing up dinner in her high chair. She was paying him 100% attention and he was loving it. And by loving it, I mean, full loud silly baby belly laughs. This kid was in paradise. Emma was being goofy grabbing at his feet and hands - not very gently either, but he didn't care. His big sister was playing with him and he laughed and laughed for a good 10 minutes.

I need to find a way to bottle that laughter and give it to my pharmaceutical salesman friend to market to doctors of depressed patients. We would make millions!

Emma is 2 part 2.

What a week! Florida was HOT HOT HOT! We were sad to say goodbye to Abuelita and Grandpop, but excited to head north to see Gramma Lou and the gang. The plane ride from Miami to Philadelphia was about 2 1/2 hours. Emma was pretty good, only one frustration outburst - but Ben was a big claustrophobic and in need of wiggling, so he was a tad fussy. The toughest part was going through security - no help from daddy this time, but we were lucky that there was a family behind us that I commandeered to help me by holding Ben while I got my terrorist looking blond haired blue eyed daughter in and out of the sit and stroll to be x rayed. I think I made the Daddy of the family a bit nervous as I didn't ask, I just said, "Here, hold Ben for me." Although he had 2 preschool boys of his own, you'd have thought he never held a baby before, it was kind of funny. The mom was awesome telling me I looked like a pro and that she had done the same solo flying with her boys a few years back.

Gramma Lou and my nephew, Frank, picked us up at the airport in Philly. We got our luggage and headed north for the 2 1/2 hour ride. We stopped to eat at a turnpike stop along the way - crappy food - but more of a chance to let Emzilla burn off some energy running around. I was hoping she would then fall asleep for the remainder of the ride (90 min), but in true toddler fashion, she passed out about 10 minutes from Gramma Lou's house! I got her inside, changed her diaper, tossed her in bed, and the kid didn't move for 10 hours - can you say, "Tired!"

Saturday was her official 2nd birthday. Aunt Lisa hosted an awesome party complete with jumpy jumper house. Emma couldn't get enough of the jumping and was inside the thing for a good chunk of the day!

When it came time to blow out the candles she was all excited to be the recipient of the Happy Birthday song again. It took her a bit longer to blow out the candles this time (see video below) but after it was done she requested to do it 3 MORE TIMES. "Emma one more time." "Emma one more time."

The cake was an awesome construction. Em is dinosaur crazy and the cake came with dinosaurs and a volcano and rivers and lava rocks. It was cool to look at - unfortunately not so yum to taste. That didn't bother the kids though, they ate it right up!

We spent the other days in PA lazing around Grandpa and Grandma's pool. We enjoyed a fabulous thunder and lightening storm on Saturday evening after the party which cleared out the humidity and brought us the perfect PA summer days - blue skies, puffy clouds, temps in the high 70's. Not necessarily swimming weather, unless the pool is heated - which it was, so the perfect way to relax on vacation.

Our return trip to CA was a very long journey - 15 hours door to door. Emma had a huge meltdown on the plane over the Rockies - screaming and flopping all over the seats. Good thing Gramma Lou was with us as I held Ben and she wrapped Emma up tight in her blanket and rocked her until she finally passed out for the remainder of the flight. I was a bit worried that she would wake up even wilder, but she did fine, and even enjoyed the bus ride from the airport north to the flyaway near our house. "Mama, ride the bus?" she kept asking over and over and over with her sleepy voice and eyes as we headed slowly up the 405.

Thought of the day

Traveling with 2 kids under 2 is a lot like labor. It sucks while it is happening, but in hindsight - it wasn't sooooo bad...

I will try and post about it this evening!

1 of 2 - Emma turns two!

Emma had the first of two of her east coast 2nd birthday parties today. Abuelita arranged to have a few kids her age come over to celebrate at 1 o'clock by the community pool. It was record breaking hot with 1001% humidity. The pool would have been refreshing if the sun wasn't so brutal!

We spent about 2 hours at the pool. Emma was LOVING the water. At first it was pretty easy as Em was floating around the pool in her ladybug floaty with her birthday balloons attached. Yep, she wouldn't go anywhere without those damn balloons. Again.



The above photo was the only quiet time I got the entire time at the pool - about 45 seconds!

As it was so hot, I wanted to keep Ben as cool as possible so I kept bringing him in the pool with me when I could. Emma got bored with just floating around pretty quickly and climbed out of the ladybug. Unfortunately we didn't have any arm floaties or a life jacket for her so it got tough quick with Ben in one arm and one arm keeping Emma from going to far down the steps into the pool.

I put Ben in the ladybug floatie and he dug it for about 15 min. Then he had enough of the pool and I handed him off to Abuelita. Emma refused to come out of the pool to eat lunch. I had to take her in the corner and give her the 'stern face/voice' telling her that she needed to eat some food or she wasn't going to be able to go back in the pool. It worked a little bit. I think she had 3 bites of turkey and a half a bread roll...

By 3 o'clock I was DONE. I started packing up our goodies and the others followed suit. We headed back to the house for cake and presents. Emma didn't hesitate this year when it came to blowing out the candles, she knew exactly what to do! I am not sure why I sound like Minnie Mouse in the video - surely delirium from heat exhaustion was setting in.

Sweet dreams, I hope!

I actually succeeded in getting both kids in bed and asleep by 9:20pm tonight. We just may be on track for tomorrow with the time change (my fingers and toes are currently crossed - makes it hard to type!).

Emma finally fell asleep around midnight last night, then she woke up at 2am screaming and flopping around the bed as if that damn python were squeezing her again. It took me 10 minutes to calm her down - she was soaked from sweating from screaming so hard and her face was all snotty. It was the strangest thing. She kept running all over the room trying to hide, dropping to the floor in her biggest tantrum ever. I truly believe she was asleep the whole time and was just possessed by some night terror. I even had to call Daddy in CA and put him on speaker phone to see if his voice would soothe her. No luck. Finally I wrapped her really tight in her blanket and hugged her crazy tight and just sang her favorite lullabies over and over. The Backyardigans "Oh my Sherman, oh my worman, don't you worry, don't you fret, we will make it to the party, we will get there, yah you bet." over and over and over was the winner. She stopped crying and just made these huge gasping breaths that got smaller and smaller until she was back to normal. I laid her back on her side of the bed and she slept until about 9am.

She was pretty good today. It was hot and HUMID - something we are definitely not used to. We ran lots of errands with Grandma and by the time we hit the last spot - Publix grocery store, she was done and tired and howling. We cut the grocery shopping short and got her home and into bed with Oswald to relax her. She never napped, but she was laying still and rested for about 90 minutes.

I was nervous about taking her out for dinner tonight as she hadn't had a nap, but she did awesome at the restaurant and ate like a champ.

Ben was his awesome self today. I am still trying to figure out formula portions now that he is fully weaned. 5 oz just doesn't seem to do the trick, so tomorrow I will try a 6oz serving and see if that satisfies him. I realized tonight that this is the first time in almost 3 years that someone hasn't been depending on my body for nourishment. Weird! Wonder how long this will last or if it will be permanent. Hmmmmmm. Good night!